He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is it penis luge time yet?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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