Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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