Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
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My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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