i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
