guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
