Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
