i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
