did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
