were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
