I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
