for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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