I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
