it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize