so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Actions speak louder than pants.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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