We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
