i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
