i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
