i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
