So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
