You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
