Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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