I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize