I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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