I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
