You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
