this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
