He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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