Don't you send me to vm
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Im part way to drunk.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
