She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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