I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize