the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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