What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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