Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
In America we eat man semen.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
