i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
