if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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