Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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