You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
