hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
then he tried to convert me to islam
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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