come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
