the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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