I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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