I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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