Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
