Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
