Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
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