Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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