Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize