No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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