I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
