Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
