I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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