and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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