For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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