If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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