Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Help me help you realize you are a moron
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize