Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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