I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
